Summer: the most wonderful 4 days of the year.

When the weather warms and the misquitoes grow we are faced with a dilemma. As a youth have more time on their hands they want to do more things. Our personal time can be infringed upon and we feel stretched into many different ways. How to balance our needs as leaders with the hopes and expectations of those who we lead.

I hope this isn't hitting a nerve. I know you have a desire to meet with and provide access to the youth at a much greater at level than the normal one night a week and then on Sundays church. The balancing act between your hopes, youth expectation and balancing lifes normal demands is something to be reckoned with. For those who are beginning to feel the stress here are some thoughts to ponder.

Number one: As you treat your spouse or significant other is how we treat others.

Every minister must come to grips with the fact that if there is no pease at home in private our public ministry will also be less than it could and should be. If I'm at odds with my wife than I'll have that same shortness with those I minister to. We must first garner peace in our home life before we can minister elsewhere.

Number two: Your primary goal is to build a healthy home not a healthy Ministry.

If we give our primary focus to our Ministry and give only secondary focus or secondary attention to our family we will not succeed. Many ministers at the end will not be judged for their great ministries but the lack of home lives.

If your Ministry responsibilities are causing strife in your home or causing one person to feel like they are in second place some adjustments need to be made. The commitments that have been made to Ministry and to the youth have to be weighed based upon what is healthy for those ministering to them.

Number three: Proper boundaries need to be set.

If you are good at relating to people some will want to spend every waking minute with you. Now this is good for egos and it makes us feel like we are important and succeeding, in all likelihood if we encourage this it will be shortsighted success story. Our primary relationships will suffer, and in the long run the health of those we are ministering to will also suffer. The balance between friendship, and ministry is a vague, variants and impossible to specifically identify line that is crossed and readjusted regularily.

What to do?? what to do?? what to do???

Number one communicate at home if you're feeling second place or you feel that you don't have enough time to talk or to develop your relationship communicate this. This is not wrong this is healthy. Simple changes can be made that will not affect the youth and will promote a healthy home life talk about.

Number two don't let the youth set your schedule your the adult you set your schedule. Communicate to them what is available and when. Be sure to give plenty of lead times and nobody's getting surprised. If as the leadership you have determined what you want to do and when follow-through don't change and midstride this will promote healthy expectations.

Number three SAY NO!. It is okay to tell the kids "no, it is just the two of us not all of us". It is okay to tell the kids we want to bike around the lake by ourselves even if they're the pastors kids.

Basically summer is short, at the end of the summer you should not be feeling remorseful because you are involved with the youth. We should feel excited because, when you are with them you gave them your very best. At the end of the summer your family relationships are further developed and they were at the beginning of the summer and you feel that you are further ahead in Jesus and you were at the beginning of the summer.

Make the most of all four days of summer this year Ministry should not be a source of regret for your family. If you apply proper boundaries your family will be healthy and those you minister to will be healthy.